2funny.com

PRANKS:

1st prank: get a leaf and put mayonaise or whatever on it, and slap the leaf into someones face that's sleeping. they will probably wake up though.

2nd prank: get a plate and put mustard and salt on it, and tell someone to put their hand over it cuz it feels hot, and when they do tht, quickly push their hand down in it. if they don't know about the butter trick of tht, then u can do that 1 also.

3rd prank: get a marker and draw on someone thts sleeping. or u can poor something on them like,: syrup, mayonaise, exc.

4th prank: offer someone a cookie or whatever kind of food, a sandwich would probably work best. and put something nasty in it, it could be anything. just make sure it goes in the middle so they dont see it on the outside. or u could spit in it.

TONGUE TWISTERS:

1.A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

2.Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said "this butter's bitter! But a bit
of better butter will but make my butter better" So she bought some better
butter, better than the bitter butter, and it made her butter better so 'twas
better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter!

3. Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit?

4.A big bug bit the little beetle but the little beetle bit the big bug back.

5.If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

6.I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

7.RED BULB BLUE BULB RED BULB BLUE BULB 

8.I saw a saw that could out saw any other saw I ever saw.

9.Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya Kacha papaya pacca papaya.

10.These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue .

DESGUSTING,WEIRD,RANDOM, AND FUNNY FACTS:

1.did you know that cockroaches can live up to 9 days with their head off???

2. did you know,During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants.

3.did u know that fingernails grow nearly 5 times faster than toenails???

4.A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.

5.did you know that coca cola was originally green??

6.did you know that donald duck was banned from finland because he didn't have pants??

7. did u know that butterfly's taste with their feet??

8.did u know that it is impossible to lick your elbo?

9.Did you know that ants never sleep??

10.did you know that the oldest piece of chewing gum is 9,000 years old?

11.Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

FUNNY QUOTES AND SAYINGS.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

You can't have everything....where would you put it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
Lord Byron

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Sommerset Morgan

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx

If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Anonymous

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
Ken Dodd

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
J.B. Morton

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink. Anonymous

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
Henry David Thoreau

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek

I found a great way to attract money... work!
Curtis D. Tucker

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

Man has his will, but woman has her way.
Holmes

If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits?

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

I am in my own little world but it's okay they know me here.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Everything is happy as long as it's happening to someone else.

Guys are like lava lamps. They are fun to look at, just not so bright.

Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate a lot of interest.

Men, chocolate, and coffee..some things are just better rich.

People like you are the reason why people like me need medication!

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people.

You're as fake as your bag.

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. -- Bob Hope

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. -- Gracie Allen

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile. -- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late. -- Mike Tyson

I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian. -- Sir Cliff Richard

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead. -- John Mendoza

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't. -- Carrie Fisher

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. -- Robert Quillen